At last - the Tale of Sloppy Bunny

I’ve been watching...

Falling Skies - a new US sci-fi drama taking place six months after alien invasion has torn society apart, following the squabbling survivors. Frankly I saw the first couple of episodes and have given up on anything more. As a long-standing Dr Who fan, I encourage people to watch “The Dalek Invasion of Earth” for pretty much the same storyline, (humanity on the brink of extinction, bickering survivors, aliens abducting humans and implanting them with stuff to make them mindless slaves) but with far better aliens, and, of course, a Timelord who’ll sort the whole mess out.

Survivor – not a sci-fi series but the US gameshow (let’s not call such things “reality” shows, if this is your reality then maybe the aliens have actually invaded). A fairly dull series that has finally lifted off in the last couple of episodes.

Brandon, a nephew of a previous, and far more charismatic and devious, contestant, is continually harping on about his sodding faith and praises Jesus for helping him win challenges. It’s a pity Jesus wasn’t helping him to avoid getting chucked out. Oddly enough Coach Wade, the architect of Brandon’s fall, also claimed that God was telling him what to do.

So what does this tell us about God? God, like this viewer, can’t stand Brandon. God, like this viewer, would like to see the mental Coach Wade win. Or perhaps, God doesn’t give a monkey’s about Survivor.

(God doesn’t seem to take an interest in the US Republican primaries either, since His most devout candidate, Rick Santorum, trailed a weak fourth in New Hampshire.)

I’ve been reading...

Hearts in Atlantis – more Stephen King, and again, cracking stuff. The master on form and on about the sixties and the ‘nam.

Imajica – actually failed to finish the first volume of this Clive Barker epic. Promising start but it trailed away.

Adrian Mole: the prostate years – a little disappointing, mainly because the previous Mole book was so utterly superb. Mole struggling with real issues than his usual delusions is not as funny, but Sue Townsend is still an excellent writer and the Mole circle of family and friends are simply a fun bunch to be around.

I’ve been writing....

I’m actually managing to churn out a few hundred words a day, often around a solid thousand – “The Royal Wedding from Hell” is coming along quite nicely. As always, my abortive first version laid some groundwork for a much better second version; it’s all getting a lot weirder and more sinister.

And, hopefully, if I pull my finger out, it will be a novella that will be getting published in ebook form in time for Kate and Wills’ first anniversary (29^th April).

Is this self-publishing an act of vanity? Probably yes, but it’s also an exercise in just getting something “OUT THERE”, and getting a handle on how this new world of publishing works. There are already self-published writers of ebooks who have chalked up a million sales; sooner or later someone will self-publish the next Harry Potter or Stieg Larsson. To be honest, I don’t think it will be “The Royal Wedding from Hell”, but we’ll have a go.

And this blog’s drabble – I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand Beatrix Potter.

Binky and Sloppy Bunny peeked round the corner of the greenhouse. Farmer Gruber, with his spade, was waiting, just by the hole in the fence.

“We’ll never get past,” squeaked Binky, “but, the baby bunnies need these carrots.”

Sloppy stubbed out his cigarette. “No probs. I’ll distract Gruber, you get the carrots away.”

Binky watched as Sloppy hopped round the greenhouse and shouted “Oi!”

Gruber charged at Sloppy. Sloppy pointed to the corner.

Gruber turned and whacked Binky’s brains out.

“Nice one,” said Gruber, handing over a big carrot.

“Keep the carrots coming,” said Sloppy, “you’ll keep getting rabbit pies.”

What I've been doing and what I plan to do...

I’ve been watching....

Torchwood: Miracle Day – great idea, what would happen if people stopped dying? But lousy story. There’s no villain, just a shady conspiracy theory with no particular direction and our band of heroes are just dithering around following spurious leads that don’t really reveal anything or go anywhere.

James Bond – every Saturday night, TVNZ have been showing all of the Bond movies, in order. Great Fun, even the rubbish ones. I was surprised at how good ‘On her majesty’s secret service” was – it being the one with George Lazenby. And ‘Live and Let Die’ shows just how cool the 70’s were, at least, the jet-setting, digital watch, coffee maker and pale blue flares side of it was.

Aliens Resurrection – nonsense, drivel, just plain bad. Though Winona Ryder was still very cute.

I’ve been reading....

Stranger in a strange land by Robert Heinlen – hard work, an awful lot of philosophy and not so much action, but great, sixties-style, tripped-out, free-lovin fun. I grok it is a goodness.

Dolores Clairborne by Stephen King – excellent stuff from the master. Gripping, quirky thriller.

Imajica by Clive Barker – I’ve just started it, and it’s intriguing so far. A big difference between Barker and King is that Barker’s characters aren’t really regular people – they are artists or aristocrats or dealers in forgeries; there’s no normal people with normal jobs like in King’s, largely, blue-collar world of domestic violence and alcohol abuse. This doesn’t make Barker any less engaging, he still manages to make his characters believable, and both Barker and King conjure up awesome fantasty.

The Spy who came in from the cold by John le Carre – very good, grim, grey and hard cold war thriller. Set in the early 1960’s but there is no sign of any swinging going on, just grimy bedsits, menial filing jobs and bleak weather. No really, it’s a cracking read!

 

I’ve been writing...

I did manage to complete the “prologue” of The Power, so I have a kind of “origin” story for the Man with a Billion Brains, and the groundwork for the bigger story to come.

I will be doing…in 2012

Write and publish in e-book form a couple of novellas, one for end of April, one for November...

Write The War on Mars.

Write The Power.
Find homes for those poor, unloved short stories, currently limping around on my hard drive.
Do a Triathlon.
Have mild 40^th birthday mid-life crisis (will have to be approved by my wife).

Right, and this month’s drabble....with apologies to my Reader in Carterton; Appendicitis is NOT funny.

The Intelligent Designer had a hangover. What had the party been about; something about the Boss’s son being born in a million years’ time.

The Boss never had hangovers. “Get the humans finished,” he’d shouted, “they’re made in my image so better be done right. Not like that platypus thing.”
The Designer groaned. The human was nearly done. Hang on, what was the appendix doing there? It was a leftover from a cow. A shameful memory surfaced.
“Is it done?” shouted the Boss.
Sod it. He sewed up the human. He was sure the appendix wouldn’t cause any trouble later.

So what have my vast army of followers been watching/ reading/ doing/ planning to do?